Despite everything that's happened and everything he's done, I still miss him more than anyone can imagine. I feel like I am missing a piece of myself and I am trying so hard to fill that piece with guitar and friends and keeping busy until I literally pass out on my bed asleep every night, but it is still gone. And I wake up every morning hoping it's just a dream, and every time I hear the doorbell I hope he'll be coming down the stairs and appearing in my doorway like he always did, and every time it doesn't happen I get a little more heartbroken.
We had problems. Huge problems. But I know we could have fixed them. I don't have faith in much of anything and I never have, but I believed in us so strongly that I weathered through really bad times because I knew he was the one I was supposed to be with. I wish I had done more to fix them then and I wish I could fix them now.
I feel like someone is missing all the time. I look for him unconsciously even though I know he isn't there. I wish he would come back so we can start over and fix this. I wish he would come back and fill the piece that's missing.
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