Now's when my life begins

Look at the world so close and I'm halfway to it
Look at the world so close, do I even dare?
Look at me, there at last, I just have to do it
Should I? No--Here I go!



~Tangled

I graduated on Friday/Saturday. I've been in school since I was four, and for the first time in my life, I will wake up tomorrow morning and it won't be summer vacation. This picture is totally me right now.

Things that didn't become excrutiatingly painful until after one fractures their tailbone:

1. Sneezing and laughing (crying, however, is pain free!)
2. Pants. Or tight skirts. Or anything that is not flowing away from the butt. Pressure, much?
3. Kneeling/bending. And of course, there is also that terrible luck that you drop EVERYTHING that graces your fingertips.
4. Standing. On the plus side, my feet no longer hurt at work! Guess my body just couldn't handle TWO places hurting. Oh and walking sucks too.
5. Lifting heavy objects
6. I'm sure there's more, but I've been trying to block them out.

Things that don't cause excruciating pain.

1. Laying on my side.

So guess what I've been doing for a large part of the past week and a half?
Yup.

The underlying thesis of a fractured tailbone is this: It hurts, and there's really nothing you can do about it. You can pop painkillers, and they may work depending on your luck and the amount of narcotic contained in them, but that's really your only chance. You can get a special pillow (in my case a travel pillow from my job, though I'm considering upgrading to a toilet seat) but it isn't a cure-all. It'll still hurt, and it'll usually become worse right when you think it's gotten better. And it's that awful, hard to pinpoint pain that's like a sore bruise, only on the inside, not out. And it comes and goes in ebbs, so when you've spent eight hours on your feet and feel fine and have hope that maybe it's starting to get better you get slammed with an unbelievable amount of soreness that makes it hard to consider trying to get out of bet even though you're starving.

And speaking of starving, I am now scared to eat because I really can't exercise. And I'm really pissed because I was just starting to get jazzed about biking to school and gradually easing myself into running and all this crap, and now I can't do much of anything, and won't be able to for WEEKS. Ugh.

I also want to add that tailbones are one of the lamest vestige body parts ever.

A quote from a book I've been thinking about lately::

"IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. Andy Evans raped me last August when I was drunk and too young to know what was happening. It wasn't my fault. He hurt me. It wasn't my fault. And I'm not going to let it kill me. I can grow."
~Melinda in Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

Poem of the moment

So I've got this idea that I'll put a poem in my sidebar and then when people read my blog they can be like "hey, what's that?" and be introduced to some new awesome-ness. I call it Poem of the Moment (PotM) because I am far too lazy to change it weekly, and monthly doesn't sound like it'll work either. Whenever I feel like it seems to be the best protocol. But, you ask, what will happen if I stumble upon awesomeness and then it disappears because Cait decided to change it? Never fear! Before I change my PofM, I'll put it in a post so it can be easily referenced. See? I'm making your life easier, three or so readers! PS If you are reading this, feel free to come out of lurkdom and comment! I can only up my number of readers that I'm addressing if I know about them :)

Anyways, here's the first PofM. I discovered it in my freshman year of college, when I took creative writing from a grad student who loved (and I mean loved) the avante-garde. She believed that poems about love had to be earned, and she encouraged us to attend the graduate readings, which is one of the reasons I decided to study creative writing! It's also one of the only credits that actually meant something when I transferred to SUU, so it wins points on that count too.

When I first read this poem, it took me forever to figure out what it meant. In fact, I still don't know what it means. I don't know if I'll ever know what it means. But it doesn't matter, because the imagery and use of words in this poem is strange, but in a kind of fantastic sort of way. It's probably one of my favorite poems ever. Funny how a lot of my "favorite" reading things tends to come from classes. Heart of Darkness, Dracula Billy Collins, finding feminist theory in pretty much everything...but I digress. Here's the poem:


Tell me about the dream where they pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.
How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running
until they forget that they are horses.
It's not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere
it's more like the song on a policeman's radio,
how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days
were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple
to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it's noon, that means
we're inconsolable.
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin this.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we'll never get used to it.

--Richard Siken, "Scheherazade"

And now, dear readers, onto the sidebar for your new PotM (which is actually lyrics)!

Billy Collins

I had planned to write this whole spiel about poetry and how I didn't like it except for really exceptional poems, blah blah blah, and then I decided to watch Billy Collins read one of my very favorite poems on youtube. I really like Billy Collins, and even considered going to college at a small school in Queens, New York so I could take an English class from him. I would still like to do that. Maybe I could do that over the summer while I'm in grad school at NYU (because I'll totally be one of the like, 15 out of 700 they select for the MFA program...). I've heard that he is considered a poet who made poetry more accessible, and I tend to agree with it. His work is not lofty, not pretentious, and not trying to be more than it is. It's also hilarious, heartfelt, and profound in its simplicity. I really like how he takes ordinary objects and turns them on their heads in really unexpected ways. It's something that I like to do in my own writing (which I really haven't done lately).

Anyways, here's a video of Billy reading "The Lanyard":



And here's a video of "Litany":


Watch them. Laugh at them. Read more of his poetry. You'll be glad you did.

Eat, drink, and be merry, because on Monday....

I go to work!

After a month of searching, I've been hired on at:



I'm excited. Reallly excited. Do I know anything about luggage, traveling, or trinkets? Not really. But I shall learn!

Netflix

I may or may not have stayed up until five in the morning the past two evenings.

Okay, fine, I did. Why?

Because I decided to try out the two-week trial of netflix. Guess what the first thing I watched was?



Ever since Cameron and I spent our evenings watching Buffy on Hulu like three years ago, I've been dying to watch Season four. Hulu only offered up to Season three, and by the time she graduated Cameron was really into it. And then I couldn't get a hold of season four anywhere! It was tragic, especially because season four has some of the best episodes ever, including:



Hush!

Now I'm guessing the two people who read this blog probably are not big Buffy fans, but they should be. It's the total package of TV-shows--it's witty, romantic, funny, scary, heartbreaking, and it's got both cute guys AND girls in it! AND it's got vampires, which are all the rage right now! Spike, who is the best vampire EVER, could snap Edward Cullen in two like a lame sparkling twig. And he'd do it while hurling insults with a wonderful accent. So there.

So, that's how I've been spending my weekend (and my trial account). I'd say it's been worth it!

Weddings! I love weddings! Drinks all around!

So it is evidently wedding season. At the beginning of the summer I had four weddings to attend. Now there are weddings popping up all over the place! I'm talking like, eight. And sadly, three of them are on the same day in completely different locations around the state :(. If I tried to attend all three of them, I'd spend most of the day driving...how exactly do you pick which friend's wedding to attend? The one who got engaged first? The one you consider yourself closest to? (who also got engaged first, and who is also good friends with Cameron) The awesome co-worker who worked her butt off for the writing center? The high school friend who is getting married, which is something she's been dreaming about since before I knew her? I really want to go to all of them, but it's just not possible. Curse you for being the most popular day to get married, random Saturday!

Other wedding topics to curse:
Tiffany and cartier engagement rings for being so beautiful and SO expensive (I don't even dare look up the cartier prices...I know Tiffany is like 4000+).
And the same goes to you, wonderful designer wedding gowns that are exactly what I want minus the 3000 dollar price tag.
Curse wedding shops I would love to peruse but feel like I can't walk into because I'll be bombarded by judgy people who think that I just want to dirty the pretty satin with my grubby fingers since I'm not actually getting married (I'm paranoid...or am I? The one time I walked into a bridal shop, the people were really nice until they found out that neither me nor Casey were engaged. Then they treated us like spawn of Satan until we left).
Curse cultural halls for basketball hoops and lines on the floor and carpeted walls. I've never gotten the whole gym in a wardhouse thing. A "cultural hall" makes me think it'll be used for like, singing. And dancing. and performing. Not young men playing basketball while the young women learn how to knit, or whatever the heck we did back then. Why not have a portable basketball hoop, a dance floor, and no carpet on the walls so that events can happen there without the weird feeling of "this is a gym. Why are we having a wedding reception/potluck dinner/performance/etc in a gym?"**

**I mean no offense to those whose wedding reception was in the cultural hall. It is an economical and convenient location, and I've seen many lovely pictures of cultural hall receptions. My sister had her reception in our cultural hall. But it's just not for me. Which I'm sure my mom is thrilled about.

Curse...well, I can't think of anything else to curse, really. Moving on.

Tonight I finished watching Moulin Rouge for the kajillionth time with Cameron, and I want to talk about that, but I've realized that my posts are pretty freaking lame without pictures and I can't figure out how to post them. Someone help me so I can have a my favorite movies, aka "probably the longest post ever written by anyone in the history of the interwebs" extravaganza sometime this week?

I really need to put my glasses on....

Not gonna lie, not being employed, going to school or engaged is really disheartening when all you really want is to be employed, going to school, and engaged. Especially when it seems like a new friend is getting engaged every day and I have to scrounge up happiness for them somewhere. I mean, I am happy for them, but at the same time I'm very unhappy for myself and it's hard to really find a balance in that.

I should probably get dressed and actually start making an appearance on the job hunting front. I wish I were more desirable to employers.

Ten favorite places to eat in Salt Lake and Cedar City

I'm bored and still unemployed, and thinking about eating out (even though I've already eaten lunch today) so I'm going to list my favorite places to eat in Salt Lake and Cedar. I would say ever, but a lot of my choices are salt lake/cedar specific, so there you go :) these aren't in any particular order, they're all good.

1. Noodles and Co.
www.noodles.com
(various locations in Salt Lake)
seriously, Noodles and Co. is the standby for me and Cameron when we want to go out to eat. It's extremely tasty and relatively cheap (5.25 for an entree that could easily be split into two..not that we ever do that). It is also for vegetarians to find something they like, since all the entrees are noodle and vegetable based and you can add meat to it. I like that, since I'm not much of a meat eater anyways. Best dishes (in my opinion): Penne Rosa and Pesto Cavatappi. The Penne Rosa is spicy, but it's quickly become a favorite of mine. Pesto Cavatappi is a lot easier on the taste buds, and I love pesto, so it works out well :). Oh, it's also open until ten, which is nice because then Cameron and I can stroll the gateway till it closes and still make it to Noodles in time to eat :) there are also locations that are conveniently located near our haunts (Gateway, the MAC, Sugarhouse, etc.) so that's good too. I really wish one would open in Cedar!

2. Granato's
There's only two Granato's locations--downtown and randomly, right by my house. It's actually an Italian market, but they have a deli in the back that has the best sandwiches I've ever had. Seriously, I've had a lot of sandwiches and I always go back to Granatos. I thinhttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=2388646021562182056k it's their bread. They've got this wonderful hard bread that's got this great crunchy crust and then soft white fluffy bread underneath...its pretty much magical. They use fresh ingredients and all sorts of interesting deli meat. They also include a pepper and green olives with every sandwich, which I never eat, but my mom does! My favorites are the Muffuletta and the Italian Combo, though i don't think you could really go wrong with any of them.

3. Cafe Rio
I've been going to Cafe Rio since jr. high. It's exploded since then (seriously, it went from two locations in salt lake to like a billion) but I still think the quality is pretty good. Cafe Rio is not real Mexican food, but that's okay because I'm actually not that huge a fan of Mexican food. It uses lots of rice and beans and is heavy on the cilantro and lime. It also boasts freshly made tortillas and gigantic burritos. Oh, and pork that's marinated in Coke. But I like the chicken better :P They also inexplicably play oldies music. I remember when I was younger my mom would make me guess what songs were playing while we ate. I got very few of them right :( though I was really good about the Beach Boys! Speaking of oldies, Paul McCartney is coming to Salt Lake and my mom is positively freaking out over it. It's kind of strange. Anyways, I like the chicken tacos at Cafe Rio. Sometimes I get a salad, even more rarely a burrito, but it's always chicken and black beans for this girl.

4. Pastry Pub
One location in Cedar City, UT
Pastry Pub is this great Irish-themed restaurant that was literally a block from my apartment last year. It's got sandwiches, salads, tostadas, breakfast, dessert, coffee + tea beverages...tons of stuff. And it's all really, really good. There was a dark time when the building next to Pastry Pub closed down and it was closed for the better part of the 2008-2009 school year due to water damage...seriously, the pizza place that burned down re-opened before the Pub did :( but it's back now, so that sad year can be put behind us. I really like the ambiance of the Pastry Pub, as well as the food. They use foam coffee cups for all the drinks, so the only lids available are the raised ones meant for hot drinks. For some reason, I find this incredibly endearing. They've got a variety of seating (mostly small tables, but they have one long table in the main dining area for big groups and a banquet room) and it just has a really nice feel to it. They also offer a student discount, which I took full advantage of when I was considered a student (a current student sticker is required for the discount, so no summer discounts for me :() . I really like the mediterranean salad and the turkey sandwich sans sprouts. Their chai is good, and their tiramisu (when they had it) was divine. Mostly I go there for the food, though.

5. The Old Spaghetti Factory
Various locations in Salt Lake
The Old Spaghetti Factory is an old family favorite. Whenever we were on vacation, we would go to The Old Spaghetti Factory if there was one nearby. I've even been to the first one in Gastown, Vancouver! They always have the same menu, but the decor is different. A cool fact about the Old Spaghetti Factory is also that the trolley that diners can sit in is usually a historic trolley from the area. It's quite fitting that Trolley Square has one, then :) (that's the only one in Salt Lake I've been too, as well). I love sitting in the trolley, but I only have once. They have these great chandeliers that totally make me think of the old west (jewel tones with fringe...don't ask me why). They've also got great prices and good food. Most of their entrees are part of "The Complete Meal," which includes unlimited bread, soup or salad, tea (hot or iced), milk,or coffee, and a scoop of ice cream at the end. All of that costs between 8-14 dollars. It's great. I usually get the tortellini, but sometimes I switch it up and get other stuff. As long as I get bread, I'm good. I am in love with their bread. Cameron is too, but he has issues with the fact that the restaurant always gives us steak knives to cut bread with. When he becomes rich and famous, he wants to donate a whole ton of bread knives to the Old Spaghetti Factory. I don't mind so much. I'll gnaw on the whole loaf if I have to. Anyways. Since it's a sit-down place, but a relatively inexpensive sit down place, that's usually our go-to place for "special" events (like anniversaries, Valentine's Day, and fancy dances at the MAC). I think we might even be going there this Saturday, actually. We aren't predictable at all....

6. The Cheesecake Factory
(One location in Salt Lake)
I don't get to go here alot, but I really like it when I do. The Cheesecake factory has a huge, extensive menu that takes like ten minutes to fully look at. It also has cheesecake, but I've never actually ordered any (when it's 7 bucks a slice, I don't have much motivation to try it). This is my family's destination for special occasion places since everyone can find something they like. I used to just get the pizzas, but this last time I tried the basil and tomato pasta and thought it was excellent. The portions are GIGANTIC, by the way. Definitely easy to share or bring home for lunch. I opt to bring it home for lunch. I really dislike sharing food. Or anything, really, but food especially is something that makes me very grumbly. Anyways, I suggest the pizzas or the pastas, but there's so much to choose from that's like a drop in the bucket.

7. Pierre's Bakery
(1 Location in Salt Lake)
Pierre's Bakery is this little French Bakery in the middle of a strip mall on 33rd south. It has the best baguettes ever. I like to go in there, buy a baguette, and then carry it out under my arm. it makes me feel very French. I sometimes get the sweets they have there (eclairs) but I think that Pierre's is really all about the bread. I remember going there when I was a little girl and really liking it, and that's definitely stuck around! It was really nice in high school because it was never busy during lunch. Places like Wendy's and Einstein's would be packed with people, and when you've only got 35 minutes for lunch it sucks to stand in line for 20 minutes of it. At Pierre's I could usually just walk in, buy my bread and be able to eat it before lunch was over! If you're ever looking for great bread in the 33rd South area, Pierre's is definitely the way to go.

8. Coffee Garden
(2 locations in Salt Lake)
I love coffee shops. Most people from Cedar probably wouldn't know that, since there's one independent coffee shop in town and it closes at like, six, but I really love coffee shops. Going to a coffee shop is one of my standby activities in Salt Lake, because there's so many good ones! Coffee Garden is by far one of my favorites. It's got a great atmosphere and great drinks. It plays classical music, which I think is awesome, and they always have local art hanging on the walls. It's got exposed brick and rafters and it just looks really sophisticated. The selection is all written on a chalkboard and it sometimes changes. I love, love, LOVE their chai. I also like their steamers, and their Italian sodas are okay...but their chai is great. Cameron loves their sugar cookies, and I recently got a slice of cheesecake (three dollars as compared to seven) and that was good, too. Pretty much, I like almost everything about the Coffee Garden and you should too (even if you don't drink coffee!)

9. Greenhouse Effect
(1 location in Salt Lake)
Greenhouse Effect is another coffeehouse, and is the one that I probably frequent the most. It's on 33rd and 9th, which is close to my house, and it also has great Chai. I like their steamers and Italian sodas, too. Going to Greenhouse often feels like an unofficial high school reunion, because so many people I know frequent there. It's got a jungle theme and usually plays heavier music than Coffee Garden, but I kind of like it that way. It's also got a hodge podge of board games and books for patrons to enjoy. Cameron's been teaching me to play chess there, and it's an adventure. The chess sets always have pieces missing, or a whole variety of sizes and colors. Last night, I didn't have a black king, so I took two checker pieces, laid them on top of each other, and put them in the king's place. Cameron laughed at me, but it worked! Greenhouse also hosts local art. Right now the artist is kind of creepy, but intriguing at the same time. Greenhouse also hosts poetry readings on Sunday night, which I have yet to attend (oops). The other thing I almost totally forgot to mention about Greenhouse is their crepes! They make a variety of savory and sweet crepes, and they are awesome. I always just get the basic powdered sugar crepe, but they've got a ton of others. When I was in high school, they offered the powdered sugar crepe for one or two dollars, but sadly they don't do that anymore :( it makes me very sad inside. I don't get crepes very much anymore, but they are still definitely something to go to Greenhouse for.

10. I can't think of #10 for right now, so I'll ask you...what's your favorite place to eat where you live?

If you've read it this far, congratulations! I think I've just proved to myself that I should not write for the describing restaurants/food industry. Definitely not. Oh well. In life news, I'm still looking for employment and trying not to die of boredom. How fun!